The Twelve Ghetto Days of Cashmas
Alternate title: “Da 12 Ghetto Days of Ca$hma$". With gratitude to Professor Anthony Howard
Illustration by Destiny Hall Harper. Source: Study Breaks Magazine.
This year, I have chosen to focus on one conscious song for the holiday season. I have recently thought more frequently about it with the realization that its author, if he is still with us, would be about 100 years old.
Professor Anthony Howard, who wrote under the name of Anthony Age, and had at least one poem published under the name Arturo Anonymouse, was a friend of our cultural workers group The Bread is Rising Poetry Collective, who participated with us in poetry readings in the years before and after 2000. A doctorate in theology, he would recite poetry, sing, tell stories, and talk politics, with a style deeply influenced by the tradition of Black dialect, showing the deep influence of Paul Laurence Dunbar (1872-1906).
One December, the year of which I can now only be sure was around the aforementioned period, when Howard/Age, a native of Washington, DC, was active in New York, he appeared at a reading that was part of a regular series at the Harlem Branch of the New York Public Library, hosted by its librarian in charge, Jerome Hammond, a dear friend of the arts in the system and to The Bread is Rising Poetry Collective.
That afternoon, Howard gave the audience of poets and library patrons heard a legendary piece. presented us with satire, in his parody of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”: “The Twelve Ghetto Days of Cashmas,” which I am certain is even more relevant today than when we first heard it - and sung along with it - over 25 years ago.1
Unfortunately, I have never seen the lyrics in print, nor was this event recorded. I remember, though, the guffaws and hilarious singing along that ensued! We were captivated from the opening line:
On the first day of Cashmas, my landlord gave to me
A vulture in a dead tree!
To this day, it remains for me the funniest satire I have ever heard on the capitalism of the holiday. I am grateful even for the little I can remember of the entire 12 days. The “landlord” reference as the “giver” of the gifts was intentional, because at the time, he was battling his to stay in his rent-controlled apartment, which he ultimately left. making this also perhaps one of the earliest cultural protests against, at the time, the growing onslaught of gentrification.
The protest continued:
On the third day of Cashmas, my landlord gave to me,
Three crackheads
…
And a vulture in a dead tree!
I share the very little I remember, and I write this with the hope that someone who knows or knew Howard, or who was there when we were given the awesome gift of this song can verify or add to what is shared here. Or perhaps a most loving tribute to him, and a strong testament to the power of parody, would be to write new lyrics that will be needed as long as the struggle continues.
As in the original, the fifth day was the most memorable line. I would recommend keeping this and the first “ghetto day” intact, as a reminder of those who first experienced it at a wonderful library in Harlem. As in the original tune, it was elongated for emphasis!
On the fifth day of Cashmas, my landlord gave to me
Five bottles of Thunderbird
Or should we say:
FIVE — BOTTLES OF —THUNDERBIIIIIIIRD!
This was the gift that induced the most guffaws. People of Howard’s generation and later are familiar with the brand name for a cheap, fortified, high-alcohol wine pushed especially in Black neighborhoods across the United States. Just to be clear, if your landlord or anybody else gives you this, in the spirit of this song and the universal holiday season, it should be shared. Even one bottle is not intended to be ingested alone!
Other lines certainly addressed issues related to the big city environment, police brutality, poverty, and the consumerism that inspired the title. All, as I remember, no less humorous or, more to the point, biting, and very much real, to those who sung with enthusiasm:
FIVE — BOTTLES OF —THUNDERBIIIIIIIRD!
Here’s to you, Professor! Thank you for your gifts of words and stories and “Da 12 Ghetto Days of Cashmas.” May one day we can recite the entire song again, with love and solidarity –
And a vulture in a dead treeeeeeee!
The term “12 days of Xmas” refers to the period between 25 December and 6 January (Three Kings’ Day), so I publish this somewhere in the middle.
I'd love to hear that poem perform in its entirety some day. The vulture in a dead tree from your landlord really rings true.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, Angel!